Heart shaped box
I got a letter from my mother.
First one in over a year and a half.
nicely done mummsy's
Funny to me...she set a picture, guess she figured I might have forgotten what she looked like.
In truth, I really had. It had taken me this long but I had forgotten her face, finally.

I don't know what to do with this. The letter is all about how time waits for no one and that she wants me to write her back. She doesn't want to die with us estranged I guess. She doesn't want that black mark on what she perceives an other wise ivory white soul.
I don't think I can write her back. And how awful does that make me? So cold hearted I won't even talk to my own mother.
But how can I throw myself in front of that train?
Throw myself back into that cycle?
Because I can see what would happen, if I pick that path; all hugs and apologies, as always, and then it would just start all over again. All of it.
No, that is not an option.
But even that decision done with not I must deal with all the shit she stirred up with that letter. Right when I could get a decent nights sleep too.

- posted by Catherine @ 7/09/2004 11:24:00 PM