accidents
no this has nothing to do with the alexiss on fire song...

first I was cutting labels off of jones bottle and sliced my hand open, the only thing that stopped the blade was the bone, how unfortunate, it's alright now though I guess. Painful to type though
then I'm getting somthing out of the cupboard and I slice my hand open twice...oo red, so good

And now I wish I was having an accident
That mood where it feels like waves of pain are breaking across my back and it takes all my will not to fall down on to the floor curl up into the fetal position and cry.
I couldn't tell you why i feel this way...there is no trigger or thought process that drove me into feeling this.

But the end result, the reason that this on this blog and no where else, the reason that I needed to do this here is that, yes I do have such an urge within me to cut that I don't know what to do with my self. I don't know how I'm going to make it through the night without doing just that. I don't know how much of my 'best' I have left...
- posted by Catherine @ 12/31/2004 07:12:00 PM (0) comments

 
LOOKY!

You're Nny! You're psychotic and kind of evil, but
somewhere in there is an emotion. Good luck
finding it.


What Johnny the Homicidal Maniac character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
- posted by Catherine @ 12/22/2004 08:20:00 PM (0) comments

 
would-be
I would write an ode to the things that I love that are cold and sharp…the things that I’m spossed to loath. But I have to talent in ode writing…in fact I don’t even know where to start.
And so, I have to keep on refraining. *shuffle shuffle*
Shite

- posted by Catherine @ 12/22/2004 01:23:00 AM (0) comments

 
the darkness of a week
the main points of DOOM;

->I fucked up a semester, I couldn't get my focus and now I have only my finals to safe me, 2 of which I didn't go to. Aren't I just so bloody smart?
->I'm scared to go to sleep tonight, I don't know what my brain is going to do with the events of today...I don't trust it to be nice to me and give me some peice
->I messed up with a freind, and I feel really bad but at the same time he scared me which puts me on the defrensive a bit...
->I can't remember the rest...stupid mind and its ability to whip these things from my brain...it was important too *sticks bottom lip out*
->I'm due to get a card for christmas...if she remembers she has a kid, watch as I fall to peices...

I hate christmas
its the worst time of year

- posted by Catherine @ 12/14/2004 01:00:00 AM (0) comments

 
gone
So the deal is dead, I know I only shaved off a few weeks but I should have known better. I should have made sure it lasted for as long as possible. I can't believe I was so stupid to let it go.
I'm worried. Mar is gone, and she didn't leave a note to say where too.
There are sharp things sitting around every where and I don't know how much longer I can sit here for with out doing something.
I know I sound angsy and juvinille, I blame it on being on RYL for the last hour and a half.

I'm tierd

- posted by Catherine @ 12/13/2004 01:09:00 PM (0) comments