my world, not the real one
The world that I live in every-day is not the 'real one'
The one that has a past and a future exists only when I let it.  And so as things, the big things, happen I don't much mind because that's not my story at the time.  that's my story when either I let it happen and I get around to thinking about it, or when I simply can not deny it anymore.
I'm not sure yet weather this is a good or a bad thing...To deal by simply not dealing at all.
I figure in the future I will need some serious physiological help, but in the mean time I am a functioning member of society.  Which is nice I guess.
unfortunately it means that I can't really empathise with those around me, as they live their lives in the moment.  They feel in the moment.  And as much as I can be a contributor to their story and they are to mine I do not see the reason for urgency as they do.  I do not see  the problems as they do.  It seems more like melodrama then the drama in my own life.  Because it always seems more serious as you go through it then when you look back on it or when someone looks into the situation.
This pattern of human behavior never ceases to amaze me.  I hope that I will continue to be amazed by it in the future, if not that means my past and now present have caught up with me.
And I loose.


- posted by Catherine @ 7/16/2004 11:56:00 PM